Nineteen weeks without posting! And it’s not that I don’t have anything to say… But too often I was lost for words, insecure about my English, unsure about why I am writing a blog at all… But these last weeks were so event-full that I wondered why I shouldn’t continue using this little platform to think out loud, and to share? Especially this last weekend was full of incredibly mind-blowing events and conversations, making me realize how far I’ve already travelled these last two years, but too, how much I still need to learn.
One of the things that kept my mind busy was a series of posts on the blog of Zack Arias, an amazing editorial photographer. It would take too long to go into details, but the email of a blog-reader, a video of God showing up in the form of a soap salesman, and the chance to help by buying some virtual soap really stirred a pot of emotions in a lot of people. To give you an idea of what I’m talking about, here is the video that set so much in motion:
And today, Zack challenged us with a new post:
Momentum :: What are you going to do with it?
I know that if you are like me then you get all excited and worked up and motivated about something and in a few days… all that momentum seems to fade away and you’re right back where you started. THEN you get all depressed because just a few days ago you had a spark bright enough to start a fire. Something stirred in you that was a call to action! You were ready to take that hill and now… Meh. Forget it. It was a stupid idea. [...] But what is that something? What is that spark? And more importantly… What are you going to do with it? [...] Don’t answer this now but… If last week’s series of blog posts sparked something inside of you then what are you going to do about it? If you felt a call to action then how are you going to answer that call? How are you going to get off your arse and move in a direction that you want to go in? Don’t put this back on your back burner. Keep it right in front of you and ask yourself for the next few days: “What am I going to do about this?”
I love that question, and at the same time, it scares me to death.
I was one of the readers seeing that little spark. Thinking about possibilities, dreaming about finding the courage to change everything. But it is still so easy to find excuses for not answering that call. And I normally have a lot of good excuses, even rational reasons to dismiss everything as a ’stupid idea’. But this time… I’m keeping the question in front of me. And maybe, I’ll hear an answer.
“THE HUMAN EXPERIENCE is the story of a band of brothers who travel the world in search of the answers to the burning questions: Who am I? Who is Man? Why do we search for meaning? Their journey brings them into the middle of the lives of the homeless on the streets of New York City, the orphans and disabled children of Peru, and the abandoned lepers in the forests of Ghana, Africa. What the young men discover changes them forever. Through one on one interviews and real life encounters, the brothers are awakened to the beauty of the human person and the resilience of the human spirit.”
Stumbled across this trailer and can hardly wait to see the film!
Now let’s hope the German film distributors are as enthusiastic about it as I am…
It is still so new & all we see is the empty space, but that is not how it is in the landscape of the heart. There, there is no empty space & he still laughs & grapples with ideas & plans & nods wisely with each of us in turn. We are proud to have known him. We are proud to have called him friend.
How do we comprehend the incomprehensible?
How can we forgive ourselves that we didn’t notice
the despair, the loneliness, the pain?
How can we call ourselves friends, when he didn’t allowed us to be
the ones he could count on, even in the darkest night?
“Wishing you a good weekend,
I will try to catch-up with you next week. Fond regards”
were the last words he wrote to me.
But when I sent him my answer, he was already gone.
I will miss his smile,
huge and bright, shining in his dark, beautiful face.
I will miss his voice with this unique British accent,
trying so hard to speak some German words.
And his honest interest in people’s lives and stories,
his calm and gentle way in which he tried to solve problems,
avoiding loud and unfair discussions.
I will miss you James.
I am so sorry I didn’t knew.
But I hope we will meet again.
And then I will tell you everything about Swaziland.
Every morning, they are there.
Some flat on their back, weak,
others strong and ready to fly.
But all in need of help to live on.
So I held out my hand to them,
patiently waiting for some trust.
The corageous are quick,
they climb the apparently insuperable heights.
But most of them are fragile -
they had to go without for too long.
And carefully I help them back to freedom.
How could I not try to save them?
How could my heart not leap for joy when, finally,
they spread their wings and fly away?
On their own.
Into life.
But I had to learn to not become desperate.
To not give up in the face of the endless need,
overwhelmed by my own powerlessness.
Because I cannot rescue them all.
For some it is too late.
Others just don’t accept my help.
And often, there are just too many of them.
And so, at the end of the day,
I try to focus on one at a time.
Being aware of the responsibility,
grateful for the possibilties,
humble before His timing.
